::whew:: I dodged a parenting bullet

Today, seemingly out of nowhere, Drama King dropped the bomb...you know this one:

Mom, how do babies get in the mom's stomach?

Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh

Finally after I picked my mouth up off the floor and reminded myself that he is 8 going on 30. I knew I had to answer him so I dropped this little pearl of wisdom on him:

"Ya know, kiddo, It's really really gross and it's going to make you wanna throw up. So how about if we talk about it when you get a little older."

"How gross is it, mom? Like booger and fart gross? Or blood and guts and ax murderer gross?"

"Grosser than ax murderer."

"Ewwwwwww, guess it's a good thing I don't want a wife huh? I'll just live with you and Dad forever"

Not exactly how I pictured the first birds and bees conversation that's for sure!

ABCs of being me

I'm at it again. Doing another one of MamaKat's writer's workshops!
Go check her out! Here are her prompts:

1.) For your birthday a sibling has decided to have the first six months of your blog printed and bound. Write a forward for the book.

2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."
(writersdigest.com)

3.) Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place.
(writersdigest.com)

4.) What would the truth have done? Write about a time when honesty was NOT the best policy.
(writingfix.com)

5.) What made your childhood bearable? Write about it.


I decided to do #2.
We just did a poetry unit with DramaKing's class so I know that poems don't have to rhyme. I'm horrible at that!

A day in the life of Mom
Breakfast making
Cub Scout meeting planning
Dirty clothes washing
Everyday chore doing
Fight Ending
Goose egg kissing
Homework helping
I'm bored busting
Junk drawer cleaning
Kickball playing
Lima Bean Spitting
Money managing
Neck washing
Oreo eating
Parent Teacher conferencing
Quick dinner cooking
Refereeing
Shoe Tying
Tree Climbing
Uniform ironing
Van driving
Wrestling
Xhausted
Yu-gi-oh watching
ZZZzzzzz snoring

When are farts not funny anymore?

When you spend your morning dressed like this because Daddy ate chili:




And then you have to be seen in public driving down the road like this:




Yeah Dad...NOT FUNNY!!

Homemade gas masks are all the rage!

Writer's Workshop from MamaKat

Mama Kat has a really cool lil thing-a-ma-bob she does every week called Writer's Workshop. She thinks up prompts and then if you choose to accept the assignment, you write about them.

Here are her prompts for the week...

1.) If you were starring on American Idol TONIGHT and HAD to sing, what song would you choose and why.
2.) Take a picture of yourself right this minute without primping and explain to us why it is you have not washed your hair today.
3.) I just asked Pat to help me with a writing prompt so here's his: "What do you think about the NBA All Star game"...blech.
4.) What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act.
5.) Write about something mean you did to a sibling growing up.

And my responses:
1) I would ever ever ever try out for American Idol and the world should be thankful that I don't try, I know my high school Chorus teacher is very thankful for that. But if I did, I would totally do Sugarland's song "Steve Earl" I just like the silliness of the song and the accent and I love to sing it when nobody's listening!

2) I did wash my hair and put on makeup and heels and even my big phat diamond necklace but alas, my camera is fresh outta batteries!

3) There is a NBA All-Stars game?

4) My number one pet peeve is people that send "professional" emails or Craigslist post or any other form of written communication without using spellcheck and correct grammar. When you are emailing your BFF about last night's Grey's episode, it's one thing, but when you are sending me an email about about a committee meeting or a soccer coaching university or anything else remotely "professional," is it really that hard to REREAD what you just typed? Spellcheck is your friend! Their punishment should be being forced to walk around wearing a sandwich board that declares "I AM AN IDIOT AND CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE SPELLCHECK!"

5) I grew up as an only child and by the time I had brothers around full time, I was too old to really torture them. I've said mean, smarta$$ things to them but never anything that could be considered sibling torture.

I'm glad that I decided to do these today. My brain is full trying to plan the pack camp out/blue and gold banquet and I needed some down time.

Now off to make spinach raviolis and hope that they are edible!

How do I get sucked into these things...

I am getting ready to go to the monthly adult cub scout meeting. This is the meeting where we plan for the whole month and the pack meeting. Neil and I both have to go because he is a den leader for Green Giant's wolf den. I joined the committee this year as the Outings Chair. No biggie really, just show up and twice a year file tour permits.

At our first committee meeting, the "secretary" didn't bother to show up...Out of the 6 of these meetings we have had up until now, she has only been to TWO of them. That was obviously a problem...since we needed the minutes. So the committee head asked her to please send out the minutes from the last meeting she was at...he response was "OHHHH That's simple. 74" We all scratched our heads and wondered...did she really just say 74. Soon after we realized that for the last year, the minutes from the meeting that she has been taking are just the number of minutes that the meeting actually LASTS...and that's it. Just keeping up with the time. No notes, no copies, nothing but minutes...There are no words!

Somehow I got sucked into doing her job AND my job. Tonight is the first meeting that I will be playing secretary...and I'm nervous. Talk about big shoes to fill! I know that anything will be better than what she was doing, but I am afraid they are thinking that I am going to come in and be SuperWoman. So just in case, I put on my SuperWoman panties and am going into save the day. Or die trying.

I wanted to post a picture of my SuperWoman panties but could only find stock pics that I wouldn't post ANYWHERE! LOL

Happy VD to you and you and you

Let me preface this by saying that I love my boys...no really, there are just days that I want to LOVINGLY pinch their little heads off.


A few weeks back, the boys and I had a conversation about Valentine's Day and their Valentines for school. They BOTH decided that they wanted store bought Valentines for their parties. Last year, they decided the same thing and then the whole time they were addressing them, they whined about how much cooler the ones that Mommy makes are...like the lollipop hearts, and Smarties love bugs. Fast forward to Wednesday, on the walk home from the bus. They announce that they've talked about it and now they want MOMMY Valentine's. ACK! We come home, scour the internet for hours..ok an hour...make a decision and then make Nana run to the store on her afternoon visit to get the candy.

I get all set up to make Valentine's last minute. What on earth was I thinking...oh yeah...making homemade Valentines and Halloween costumes are going to be things that they will remember forever and could possibly put me in the running for Mother of The Year. (and hopefully make them forget all the bad mothering moments I have) I knocked all 22 of the Drama King's out in a few hours Wednesday night. Drama King picked out Valentine Mice, because NOTHING says Happy Valentine's Day! like pulling a lollipop out of a rat's a$$...

Green Giant decided on little GaNomes with big heart shaped feet. WHAT WAS I THINKING?? (oh yeah making up for that time I dropped him on his head when he was 6) And why can't I stop saying GaNomes? The later into the evening that it got, the more convinced I was that the GaNomes were evil and they were coming after me. Tell me these things don't look evil...





Yes that is a little army of chocolate kisses with googly eyes. Everything is better with googly eyes. I sat up until 1AM cutting out and gluing the little GaNome hats and cutting out and creating the GaNome shoes. I finally had to put the GaNomes in a box because they were all staring at me. I assembled them yesterday. They just got more evil looking...




The evil GaNome army is now complete






Then I made homemade chicken pot pie with Drama King. I was feeling pretty confident in my bid to be Mother of The Year....until I taught the boys how to spit lima beans across the room.



So from the Spitting Lima Bean Cast to you! Happy VD!

I see London, I see France...

Somehow this has become a popular screaming match that occurs DAILY at my house.

I see London, I see France

I see the (insert one of the LimaBeans)'s underpants

This morning as Green Giant was sitting quietly over a bowl of sugary sweet cereal, Drama King was dashing around in his boxers. Suddenly he realizes that Green Giant is watching him with an amused look on his face. Before Green Giant can even open his mouth, Drama King screams "Don't even think about it." Of course Green Giant knew exactly what he was talking about. Green Giant sat silently eating his cereal with the amused smile getting even more amused. Suddenly, out of nowhere I hear "MOM MAKE HIM STOP THINKING IT!!!! HE'S THINKING IT AND I TOLD HIM NOT TO!!!"

Yes, Drama King, I can suddenly keep your little brother from THINKING things.

Introducing

The Spitting Lima Beans Cast

Meet Drama King

He is 8 going on 30. His main interests are making goofy faces, playing video games, spitting lima beans and playing soccer. He is a beach boy. He is serious about his clothing, especially how his jeans look with his shoes. He is serious about driving the whole fam-dam-ily insane with his slightly OCD behavior. He collects hippos and keys. He marches to the beat of his own Ipod and always will, even if it drives his momma crazy. He taught himself to ride a two-wheeler at age 3. He took off his own training wheels and just took off, while I watched in terror. He taught himself to swim in the same way. He loves nature and camping and would live in the sand if I would let him.

Meet Green Giant

Green Giant is 7 and growing like a weed. He loves to rub it in his brother's face that he is in fact the BIG brother. He loves video games and video games. Green Giant is a constant source of entertainment around the Lima Bean Household. He is the world champion Lima Bean Spitter around here. He is a rough and tumble not-so-little boy. He came into this world six weeks early and still weighing in at 7 pounds and a half an ounce. He is perfectly content to walk the beach or snorkle all day long. He is a fish, plain and simple. His current obsessions are Wii, giraffes, farting and his seashell collection. He is a big NASCAR fan and loves Dale Earnhardt, Jr. His perfect day would include a few hours on the beach, a few hours of Wii, a good race and beating up his older brother.